ublished. — "The Popular Edition" of Baker's Reading Club and 
■aker. Xos. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8. 50 selections each. Price 15 cents. 




Copyright, 1876, by George M. Baker. 

Mrs. Walthrop's ISacbelors. Comedy in Three Acts. Translated from German by George M, 

Baker. 25 cents. „ „ „ .,. , «> l 

The Fa irv of the Fountain. Play for Little Folks. Two Acts. By George M. Baker. SSceatt. 
Coupon lionds. Drama in Four Acts. By J. T. Trowbridge. 25 cents. 
Under a Veil. Conimedetta in One Act. By Sir Randal Roberts. 25 cents. 
Class Oay. Farce in One Act. ByDr.F- A.Harris. 26 cents. 

¥ncle Robert. Comedy in Three Acts. 7 male, 1 female character. IS cents. 
ho Wife's Secret. Play in Five Acts. 9 male, 3 female characters. 15 cents. 
The "Vlrj^nla Veteran. Drama in Four Acts. 11 male, 4 female characters. M eeatt. 



Spencer's Universal Stage. 

A Collection o/ COMEDIES, DRAMAS, and FARCES, adapted to either Pubftc or Private 
performance. Containing a full description of all the 
necessary Stage Business. 
PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH, i^r No Plays Exchanged. 



LOST IN LONDON. A Drama in 3 Acts. 

6 male, 4 female characters. 
NICHOLAS PLAM. A Comedy in 2 Acts. 

By J. B. Buckstone. 5 male, 3 female char. 
THE WELSH GIKL. A Comedy in 1 Act. 

By Mrs. Blanche. 3 male, 2 female char. 
JOHN WOPPS. A Farce in 1 Act By 

"W. E. Suter. 4 male, 2 female char. 
THE TTJEKISH BATH. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By Montague Williams and F. C Bumand. 

C male, 1 female char. 
THE TWO PUDDIFOOTS. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 
OLD HONESTY. A Comic Drama in 2 

Acts. By J. M. Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. 
TWO Q-ENTLEMEN IN A FIX. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 2 male char. 
SMASHING-TON GOIT. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 3 liemale char. 
TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By Lenox Home. 4 male, 

1 female char. 
JOHN DOBBS. A Farce in 1 Act. ByJ.M. 

Morton. 5 male, 2 female char. 
THE DAUGHTER of the REG-IMENT. 

A Drama in 2 Acts. By Edward Fitzball, 

G male, 2 female char. 
AUNT CHARLOTTE'S MAID. AFarceinl 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 
BROTHER BILL AND ME. A Farce in 

1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 4 male, 3 female char. 
DONE ON BOTH SIDES. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 female char. 
DUNDUCKETTY'S PICNIC. A Farce in 1 

Act. By T. J. Williams. 6 male, 3 female char. 
I'VE WRITTEN TO BROWNE. A Farce 

in 1 Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female 

char. 
MY PRECIOUS BETSY. A Farce in 1 

Act. By J. M. Morton. 4 male, 4 female char. 
MY TURN NEXT. A Farce in 1 Act. By 

T. J. Williams. 4 male, 3 female char. 
THE PHANTOM BREAKFAST. A Farce 

in 1 Act. By Chas. Selby. .3 male, 2 female char. 
DANDELION'S DODGES. A Farce in 1 

Act. By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 
A SLICE OF LUCK. A Farce in 1 Act. By 

J, M. Morton. 4 male, 2 female char. 
ALWAYS INTENDED. A Comedy in 1 

Act. By Horace Wigan. 3 male, 3 female char. 
A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP. A Comedy 

in 2 Acts. By Charles Matthews. 6 male, 4 

female char. 
ANOTHER GLASS. A Drama in 1 Act By 

Thomas Morton. 6 male, 3 female char. 
BOWLED OUT, AFarceinl Act ByH. 

T. Craven. 4 mule, 3 female char. 
COUSIN TOM. A Commedietta in 1 Act. By 

Geo. Roberts. 3 male, 2 female char. 
SARAH'S YOUNQ MAN. A Farce in 1 

Act By W. E. Suter. 3 male, 3 female char. 
HIT HIM, HE HAS NO FRIENDS. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By E. Yates and N. H. Har- 
rington. 7 male, 3 female char. 
THE CHRISTENING. A Farce in 1 Act. 

By J. B. Buckstone. i> male 6 female char. 
A RACE FOR A WIDOW. A Farce in 1 

Act. By T. J. Williams. 5 male, 4 female char. 
YOUR LIFE'S IN DANGER. A Farce in 

1 Act By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 
TRUE UNTO DEATH. A Drama in 2 Acts. 

By J. Sheridan Kuowles. 6 male, 2 female char. 



36. DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND. An Interlude 

in 1 Act. By W. H. Murray. 10 male, 1 female 
char. 

37. LOOK AFTER BROWN. AFarceinl Act 

By George A. Stuart, M. D. 6 male, 1 female 
char. 

38. MONSEIGNEUR. A Drama in 3 Acts. By 

Thomas Archer. 15 male, 3 temale char. 

39. A VERY PLEASANT EVENING. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By W. E. Suter. 3 male char. 

40. BROTHER BEN. A Farce in 1 Act By J. 

M. Morton. 3 male, 3 female char. 

41. ONLY A CLOD. A Comic Drama in 1 Act 

By J. P. Simpson. 4 male, 1 female char. 

42. GASPARDO THE GONDOLIER. A 

Dmnia in 3 Acts. By George Almar. 10 male, 
2 female char. 

43. SUNSHINE THROUGH THE CLOUDS. 

A Drama in 1 Act. By Slingsby Lawrence. 3 
male, 3 female char. 

44. DON'T JUDGE BY APPEARANCES. A 

Farce in 1 Act. By J. M. Morton. 3 male, 2 
female char. 

45. NURSEY CHICKWEED. AFarceinl Act 

By T. J. Williams. 4 male, 2 female char. 

46. MARY MOO ; or. Which shall I Marry? 

A Farce in 1 Act. By W. £. Suter. 2 male, 1 
female char. 

47. EAST LYNNE. A Drama in 5 Acts. 8 male, 

7 female char. 

48. THE HIDDEN HAND. A Drama in 5 Acts. 

By Robert Jones. 16 male, 7 female char. 

49. SILVERSTONE'S WAGER. A Commedi- 

etta in 1 Act By R. R. Andrews. 4 male, 3 fe- 
male char. 
BO. DORA. A Pastoral Drama in 3 Acts, By Chas. 
Reade. 6 male, 2 female char. 

55. THE WIFE'S SECRET. A Play in 6 Acts. 

By Geo. W. Lovell. 10 male, 2 female char. 

56. THE BABES IN THE WOOD. A Com- 

edy in 3 Acts, By Tom Taylor. 10 male, 3 fe- 
male char. 

57. PUTKINS ; Heir ta Castles in the Air. 

A Comic Drama in i Act By W. K. Emerson. 

2 male, 2 fen. ale char. 

58. AN UGLY CUSTOMER. A Farce in 1 Act 

By Thomas J. Williams. 3 male, 2 fiemale char. 

59. BLUE AND CHERRY. A Comedy in 1 Act 

3 male, 2 female char. 

60. A DOUBTFUL VICTORY. A Comedy in 

1 Act. 3 male, 2 female char. 

61. THE SCARLET LETTER. A Drama in 3 

Acts. 8 male, 7 female char. 

62. WHICH WILL HAVE HIM? A Vaude- 

ville. 1 male, 2 female char. 

63. MADAM IS ABED. A Vaudeville in 1 Act 

2 male, 2 female char. 

64. THE ANONYMOUS KISS. A Vaudeville. 

2 male, 2 iemale char. 

65. THE CLEFT STICK. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 

5 male, 3 female char. 

66. A SOLDIER, A SAILOR, A TINKER, 

AND A TAILOR. A Farce in 1 Act 4 male, 
2 female char. 

67. GIVE A DOG A BAD NAME. A Farce. 

2 male, 2 female char. 

68. DAMON AND PYTHIAS. A Farce. 6 

male, 4 female char. 

69. A HUSBAND TO ORDER. A Strio-comio 

Drama in 2 Acts. 6 male, 3 female char. 

70. PAYABLE ON DEMAND. A Domestic 

Drama in 2 Acts. 7 mole, 1 female char. 



Descriptive Catalogue mailed free on application to 

Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston, 



A PERSONAL MATTER, 



a Cometig in ©tie Set 



■/ 

By F. E. chase. 



(a.C?..H 



BOSTON: 
GEORGE M. BAKER AND COMPANY, 

41 FRANKLIN STREET. 
1880. 



r 






Copyright, 1880, 
By GEORGE M. BAKER. 



All rights reserved* 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 



Mr. Cadwallader Tapscott. 

Mrs. Cynthia Tapscott. 

Susan. 

Mr. Copvwright, editor of " The Milky Way. 



Scene. — A breakfast-room, closed in. Double doors in 
fiat, backed by interior j fireplace L. ; entrances R. and L. ; 
wifidow R. ; breakfast-tab'e set with two chairs R. of Q.\ 
arm-chair by fireplace ; desk R. of D. i7i f. 

Mr. T. {discovered standing back to fireplace). I wonder 
where the deuce those morning papers are ! 1 never, some- 
how, get up especially early in the morning to get them, but 
that particular morning they are sure to be unusually late. 
I sometimes suspect the carrier of cherishing a tender re- 
gard for the housemaid in No. 23: even now he may be 
urging his suit in the lower porch. By Jove! it is cool of 
hini, — devilish cool ! {Hastily leaving fire, and examining 
coat-tails.) Gad ! how hot that fire is ! Upon my soul, I 
thought at first I was ablaze ! {Looking at watch.) Eight 
o'clock, and no paper yet ! I wonder if it is beneath my 
dignity as a family man to punch that carrier's head. I 
don't know that that would mend matters much, but I feel 
that I should derive the most exquisite satisfaction from the 
operation. {To easy-chai)% taking paper.) Here's that last 
night's paper again, continually obtruding itself upon me, 
and apparently glorying in its successor's delinquency. 
{Sits.) Hallo! what's this? I would have guaranteed my 
abihty to reproduce this entire sheet with photographic 
accuracy, and yet here is actually a paragraph which has 

3 



4 A PERSONAL MATTER. ' 

escaped me. {Reads.) " Whereas my wife, Mrs. Sloper 
Sachett, has left my bed and board" — m — m. Pah ! how 
disgusting are these quarrels between man and wife ! I con- 
fess my own wife is not perfect ; but, during the five years 
of our married life, I have warded off all unpleasantness by 
my imperturbable patience and self-control {rising). {Loud) 
D — n it all! where is that paper? {Bell outside.) Ah! the 
carrier, at last. The housemaid in No. 23 has either ac- 
cepted or rejected him ; I hope the latter. {Goes r.) 

Susan {ente7'ing i e. r. luith paper). 'Ere's your paper, 
sir; and the carrier says as 'ow No. 28 has given him a dol- 
lar, and Mrs. Peevey, in the corner 'ouse, two ; and, being 
as tomorrer's Christmas, and he's always taken pertickler 
pains to please you, he 'opes — 

Mr. T. {snatching paper). Hopes, does he? Oh, this is 
too much ! this is adding insult to injury. First he steals 
my time, and then has the impudence to signify that he'd 
like to do as much for my money. Tell him I've nothing 
for him. {Goes L.) 

Susan. But he's quite put himself out of his way, sir, 
to — 

Mr. T. Then ask him, as a further favor, to put himself 
out of my way as soon as possible, — d'ye hear? (Susan 
exit D. in F.) {Going C, and looking in paper.) Now for 
the answer to my applfcation. The dream of my life — and 
my wife's — has been to own a "cottage by the sea," A 
little while ago, a place I've had my eye on for months was 
offered for sale at the mere price of the land, dirt-cheap, in 
fact, (r.) I wanted it myself: it was a good investment, and 
so I negotiated for it. So much will a really good husband 
do to please his wife. The owner was to let me know to- 
day. Not by letter, — oh, no! my wife might get hold of 
that, — but by Personal in the paper; for all this is to be 
kept from her knowledge until the anniversary of our wed- 
ding, (l.) a surprise for her, and bought for a song, too, as 
the owner said ; though I told her it was right enough a 
" cottage by the sea " should be sold for a song. {Sits l., 
arfn-chair.) Let's see, — Personals, — third page — ah, here 
they are ! {Reads.) 

Mrs. T. {enters d. in F.). {Aside.) Ah, here he is ! Oh, 
dear! I wish I didn't feel so like a felon every time I see 
him. Indeed, I feel a whit-low-tx than a felon, as Caddy 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 5 

would say, at the sight of his dear, honest face. If the pos- 
session of a secret so harmless as mine makes a person feel 
so unpleasantly, how awfully those dreadful people that I 
read of in the papers must feel, with their bigamies and what 
not ! (c.) Why, I hardly dare speak to him, for when he 
looks at me I know I shall look guilty. If I can only keep 
it from him till the anniversary of our wedding — but there ! 
the dear honest fellow would no more suspect me of any 
duphcity, than he could be fjuilty of it himself, (l., softly 
looking over T.'j sko7ilde?\) What can he find so interesting .'' 
{Kisses hifn.) Good-morning, Caddy. 

Mr. T. {hastily risijtg, to C). Good-morning, my dear 
{nervously). Just down } 

Mrs. T. Oh, no ! I've been here some time, but you were 
so engrossed in the paper that — 

Mr. T. I — I dare say I may have been talking to my- 
self just now, eh ? Perhaps you heard me talking to myself 
or — or — something. 

Mrs. T. No, dear : why .? 

Mr. T. Oh, nothing! Only sometimes a personal — I 
mean person, does, you know. You do know, don't you .? 
Hang it, Cynthia ! what are you staring at ? If I were really 
that useful but humble receptacle of tea, with whose name 
you are so fond of endowing me, I couldn't be insensible to 
the fact that your looks and manner toward me are extreme- 
ly pointed. {Raising voice.) And I ask you calmly {loud\ 
Do you see any thing peculiar about me ? 

Mrs. T. {going to him). Why, Caddy, what is the matter.? 
I wasn't conscious of staring. Come, kiss me good- 



morninj 



Mr. T. {kissing her). There, there ! {Both sit at table.) 
I hated to mention it, Cynthia, you know, but you were 
staring at me very person — I mean particularly. And of 
course a person — I mean — yes, person — {Loud.) Hang 
it ! I don't like it. {Reads.) 

(Susan brings in, d. in f., coffee-urn ajid letter.) 

Mrs. T. {aside). I wonder what makes Caddy so irritable 
this morning. Can he suspect any thing ? {Pouring coffee.) 
{Aloud.) And who was that strange-looking man I saw you 
with yesterday? some one in the real-estate line, I'll be 
bound, for he carried samples enough of that commodity 
about his person. {Passes cup.) 

Mr. T. {suspending eating). {Aside.) Real-estate look ! 



O A PERSONAL MATTER. 

I've always observed that if you have any thing on your 
mind, people delight in stirring you up, so to speak, and 
treading on your moral corns. {Aloud.) Cynthia, as a par- 
ticular favor, I beg you don't be absurd. That man is a 
millionnaire. He's as rich as — 

Mrs. T. As mud, you were going to say. But it really 
isn't fair to throw cold water on my joke. I only said he 
was dirty. {Eats.) 

Mr. T. He has his faults certainly, but they are all 
merely superficial. 

Mrs. T. And the more inexcusable on that account, 
sirfce soap and water would remove the most- evident of 
them in no time. 

Mr. T. And I particularly respect him as being a typical 
self-made man. 

Mrs. T. Self-made men. Ah, yes! I know them. The 
children of luck, who invariably disown their father; men, 
who. making 'prentice work of themselves, so far improve 
their skill in their children, that the latter feel their superiority, 
and despise their progenitors ; men who invariably claim to 
have risen from the gutter, — a boast, which, judging from 
appearances, is generally perfectly justified. In this case it 
is quite superfluous, indeed, since his origin was plainly 
written in his face. Bah ! canaille ! 

Mr. T. {jnispronouncirii^). Canal, indeed! 

Mrs. T. Don't try French, Caddy. Don't adorn that 
much-abused word with an L like the highl3-desirable cottage 
of the advertising-columns. (Mr. T. winces) That reminds 
me. Let me see the paper while you finish your breakfast. 

Mr. T. The paper ; ah, yes ! {Aside) There she goes 
again. First, real estate, then hints at cottages, and now an 
absurd and wholly unprecedented desire for the newspaper. 
But no hesitation : the man who hesitates is lost, though in 
my case he is rather more likely to be found — out. {Aloud., 
giviiis^ paper.) There is an article on personals — Personal- 
ities in Journalism, that I know you'll like. It's on the — 

Mrs. T. {turjiing paper). On the third page. It's that 
you M^ere reading when I came in. It must have been very 
interesting, judging from your — Why, Caddy, there is 
nothing here but advertisements. {During above Mr. T. 
betrays some agitation.) 

Mr. T. {groans). Is this fate .'' {Aloud) It's not there, 



A PERSONAL MATTER. / 

— no {rising). That reminds me : there is such a nice mur- 
der on the first page. {Round to her.) Let me show you. 
{iries to get paper^ A babe in arms murders his wife and 
husband with a clothes-wringer, and completes his atrocious 
work by sawing off his head with a violin-bow. A violint 
death, the reporter calls it. Pretty good, ain't it ? {Grabs 
at paper.) Yes ; headed "A Scene of Horror." I assure — 

Mrs. T. {rising). For pity's sake, Mr. Tapscott, what 
does ail you ? 

Mr. T. {braciftg up). Nothing ; I — 

Mrs. T. You seem to have lost your head as completely 
as the subject of your very disjointed remarks. One would 
think, from your manner, that you had a personal — 

Mr. T. {alarmed). Eh ? oh ! I say — 

Mrs. T. a personal interest in the affair. 

Mr. T. {aside). I breathe again. {Aloud.) Not at all, 
not at all. I — I only displayed the natural interest one 
feels in such — 

Mrs. T. Natural interest? What kind of principle can 
a man have who can derive interest from such sources ? 
{Goes L. tojire.) But, Caddy, how about the babe in arms 
(l.), — a parricide at eighteen months .<* The infant Her- 
cules is eclipsed. {Laughs.) 

Mr. T. {do7vn r., ne7'vously). Ha, ha! yes; very good. 

Mrs. T. You reverse Holy Writ most originally, and 
visit the sin of the child on the father in a very striking 
{laji^hs) manner. {Looks at paper ^ 

Mr. T. {aside, coming c). Confound it! she's at that 
paper again ; she's turning to that infernal third page. I 
can't stand this any longer. I must get it away from her. 

Mrs. T. How absurd these personal advertisements are, 
Caddy! {Bus., Mr. T.) Do you ever read— (Mr. T. 
makes a rush.) Why, what — {Dodging to C.) 

Mr. T. (l.). Oh ! I say, you mustn't — you know — 

Mrs. T. Mr. Tnpscott, I am astonished at you. If it 
weren't for implying that you ever possessed such a thing, 
1 should say you had lost your senses. 

Mr. T. {aside). I cannot stand this. {Aloud:) Mrs. T., 
I ask you in the mildest manner possible {loud) to give me 
that paper. 

Mrs. T. And I refuse to do any thing of the sort. {Goes 
down R.) 



8 A PERSONAL MATTER. 

Mr. T. {Imid). Don't make me lose my temper, ma'am. 
{To c.) 

Mrs. T. Oh ! you never lose your temper ; for you can't 
call a thing lost when you see it fifty times a day. 

Mr. T. As your husband, ma'am, I demand that paper. 
{A little down r.) 

Mrs. T. The supply not being likely to equal your de- 
mand, the price will rise accordingly. Before you get this 
paper, you must make me a confession. 

Mr. T. {retreatmg). A — a confession ? 

Mrs. T. A confession. You are deceiving me, sir. You 
have a secret, and the key to it is in this paper. 

Mr. T. No, no : you don't know — I — 

Mrs. T. You are right. I don't know; but I am in a 
fair way to find out. {Goes L., to fire.) 

Mr. T. My dear, I — 

Mrs. T. I assure you, I'm not at all dear. In return for 
this paper, my price is simply an explanation of your strange 
behavior. And remember, sir, that I give you this opportu- 
nity out of kindness ; for I can easily find out for myself. 
{Shows paper.) 

Mr. T. {down r., aside). Pooh ! she'd never find out any 
thing from the item. I must be bold. {Aloiid, tragically.) 
You wrong me, Cynthia; but I forgive you. 

Mrs. T. {imitating). " I love thee, Cassio : but never 
more be officer of mtne." Bah ! don't try blank verse, Mr. 
Tapscott. You will find it quite hard enough to explain 
matters in prose. 

Mr. T. {continuing). But I forgive you. Standing as I 
do on a pinnacle — 

Mrs. T. At length you have come to the point; though, 
judging from your recent behavior, "ragged edge" were 
more to the purpose. 

Mr. T. — a pinnacle of moral rectitude which no mere 
suspicion can undermine, I — 

Susan {entering d. in f.). Av ye please, 'ere's a person 
below as wants to see — 

Mr. and Mrs. T. {together). Me ? 

Susan. Yes, please. 

Mrs. T. {aside, putting paper on mantle). Can it be Copy- 
wright ? 

Mr. T. {up c). Any name ? 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 9 

Susan. He didn't give no name, sir; but he said as 
how he come about that — (Mr. T. stops her mouth. Mrs. 
T. sio;nals violently for her to be silent) 

Susan {bewildered). He said the lady — {Bus. by both 
frantically repeated.) 

Mrs. T. {aside). This girl will ruin all. How stupid of 
Copywright to send a message by her ! {Goes r. to window 
and looks out.) 

Mr. T. {aside). If my wife were to hear of the widow, I 
should be in a \vorse box than I am now. {Lo7u to Susan.) 
For heaven's sake, not a word more ! Tell him to wait at 
the corner. Go, there's a good girl. {Exit Susan, d. in f.) 
{Aloud.) A — a friend on business. Mrs. T., I must be 
off; and I hope, Cynthia, you will have forgotten your ab- 
surd distrust of me before I see you again. We'll see 
what a few presents will do. 

Mrs. T. Your absence is far more acceptable to me than 
your presents can possibly hope to be. 

Mr. T. Ah, Cynthia! {Aside) She'll get over it. Wanted 
me to sell my secret, did she ? Well, that were better, from 
a commercial point of view, than to give it away, as I came 
very near doing. {Aloud) Ta, ta. {Exit T>. in F.) 

Mrs. T. {at windorv r.). It was Copywright. There he 
goes down the street. What could he be thinking of, to 
come so early? I declare, he's waiting on the corner. What 
an idiot! {Retreating) He actually had the impudence 
to blow a kiss to me. {Peeping) There, — there goes 
Caddy after him. What if he saw him do it? They pass 
each other without any recognition. Yes — why, Caddy is 
waiting on the corner, and looking about as if he expected to 
see some one. {Retreating) Come to think of it, he did 
expect to see some one. Thought Copywright was a friend 
of his. {Peeping) Why, he isn't going down town: he's 
taking a Chilbury Ferry horse-car. That's suspicious. {Down . 
c.) And how frantically he endeavored to suppress his sup- 
posed friend's business when Susan — Yes ; and, when 
Susan began about the lady, I saw him glance at me, and 
stop her. O Caddy, Caddy, this is far worse than I thought! 
Ah me I But the paper, — he has left it. Yes, here it is. 
{Goes i.. to fnantle, and takes it) I have a clew here. He 
was reading on the third page. {Opens paper) But what ? 
{Searches) Why, there is nothing here but advertisements 



lO A PERSONAL MATTER. 

and the Personals. Personals, — he can't have any interest 
in them; and yet, now I remember, every time I spoke that 
unfortunate word, or looked on this innocent third page, he 
acted in that suspicious way. Let me see. {Reads.) "Will 
the young lady who rode the bicycle " — No, no ; it's not 
that. {Reads.) " If the red-haired young man with the 
insinuating address" — No, nor that. Ah! {Reads.) 
"C T. — I cannot resist your last offer. Inclination and 
interest both point the same way. Lobelia is yours on your 
own terms. Meet me to-day at ten, to make the final arrange- 
ments. — T." {Drops paper, ajtd sits by fire, sobbi?ig.) Oh, 
oh, to think I could have been so blind ! It must be he. If 
it were only " C," there might be some mistake ; but " C. T." 
can mean nothing but Caddy Tapscott. And he has made 
her an offer, too, — the brute! {Sobs^ Oh, oh, I never 
would have believed he could be so bad as that ! Her inter- 
est and inchnation both point — Her interest first, no 
doubt, — the mercenary wretch ! And such a name, — Lo- 
belia I it is enough to nauseate one. I know she's horrid. 
{Sobs.) Oh, oh, this is cruel of him ! This is where he has 
gone in such a hurry. {Wipes eyes.) To think I could have 
loved such a brute ! {Rising.) I won't mind it : he isn't 
worth it. {Going c.) You have gone and taken this Lobelia, 
and thrown me up, have you.? Very good, Mr. Tapscott; 
I'll be even with you. 

Susan {enters d. in ¥.). 'E's 'ere, mem. 

Mrs. T. {dow7t C). Back again.? {Aside.) He little sus- 
pects I know all. 

Susan {tip c.) Yes, mem. And he's got a big bouquet 
in a box. I see it through a hole in the cover. 

Mrs. T. {aside). For his Lobelia, no doubt ; and covered 
up for fear I might see it. Ah I Mr. Tapscott, you'll find 
yourself in a nice box, but without any kind of hole in the 
cover to creep out through. {Goifig L., aloud.) Has he 
gone, yet.? 

Susan. Lor', no, mem. He's just be'ind on the stair. 

Mrs. T. {aside). He can't have repented, — it's nearly ten, 
— no, he's going to brazen it out. Very well; he'll meet 
with a different reception from what he anticipates. {Turns 
back to door, and leans on mantle.) 

Susan. 'Ere 'e is, mem. {Enter Copywright bowings 
exit Susan.) 



A PERSONAL MATTER. II 

Mrs. T. {not looking at htm). Don't speak to me, sir. 
Don't utter a syllable. All is discovered. 

CoPYWRiGHT (c). Eh ! {Drops bouquet on fable) 

Mrs. T. Yes, sir ; discovered. I don't wonder you have 
nothing to say. I know all about Lobelia. You can hardly 
look in the indignant eye of an outraged wife, now, sir. 

CoPYWRiGHT {down c). Well, madam, I must confess I 
can't ; at any rate, while you continue in that position. I — 
I can't imagine how 1 have offended — 

Mrs. T. {aside). Copywright ! What an absurd error! 
{Toe) 

Copywright. I assure you — I — 

Mrs. T. My dear Mr. Copywright, I beg your pardon. 
I wasn't aware that you — 

Copywright. I beg you won't apologize. 

Mrs. T. I was — I was meditating a new story. Trying 
to enter into the feelings of an injured wife, you know. 
{Goes R.) 

Copywright (l., aside). She certainly made a very forci- 
ble entry ; sort of burglary, in fact. {Aloud) Judging from 
the specimen, the story will be a decided success. 

Mrs. T. {to c, indicating chair). Pray sit down, Mr. 
Copywright. {Both sit, Copywright l., she at table) 

Copywright. Thank you, Mrs. Tapscott. 

Mrs. T. But how could you be so imprudent as to call so 
early as you did this morning? after my cautions too. 

Copywright. Why ! didn't you get my note .? 

Mrs. T. To be sure : it was brought in at breakfast ; 
but — I forgot all about it until now. {Takes letter from 
table, and opens) What apology can I make t Pray excuse 
me. {Reads) 

Copywright. As you see, I came early to get the proof- 
sheets of your novel, — early, because we publish a week 
sooner than we intended, and every thing is hurried. Pm 
very sorry. I hope it won't inconvenience you. You sj)oke 
of an anniversary, I think. 

Mrs. T. {rising, and dropping letter). No, no! I did 
care once, but not now — not noAv. {Goes r.) 

Copywright {rising). And I took the liberty of bring- 
ing a few flowers. {Handi?ig them) 

Mrs. T. {crossing l. with them). How good of you ! Ah, 
no ! I don't care now if my book never comes out. 



12 A PERSONAL MATTER. 

COPYWRIGHT (r., aside). Novelty of authorship wearing 
off. Often sa Reading proof usually settles 'em, {Aloud}) 
By the way, I met a sort of acquaintance in your street just 
now. 

Mrs. T . {at mantle). Indeed! 

CoPYWRiGHT. Yes : he came up behind me as I went 
away from here. 

Mrs. T. {aside). My husband ! {Aloicd.) A sort of 
acquaintance : how do you mean ? 

CoPYWRiGHT. Why, you know, I live in Chilbury sum- 
mers ; and directly opposite me lives a very pretty and 
rather fast voung widow. 

Mks.T. {aside). Lobelia! {Aloud.) Well! 

CoPYW^RiGHT. Well, I've lately seen this gentleman go- 
ing there at all times of the day, and — Why, Mrs. Tai> 
scott, what is the matter.-* (l. to her.) 

Mrs. T. Nothing, nothing! I — {sits i.., aside). Oh, the 
villain, — a widow! 

COPYWRIGHT. You are fatigued. I won't bore 3'ou any 
longer. Have you the proofs at hand ? 

Mrs. T. Proofs! {Rising.) I should think I had. Oh, 
he shall pay for this ! {Goes r., Copywright c.) {Crash.) 

Mr. T. {outside). Susan, if I fall over this coal-hod again, 
we part. Don't bandy words with me. 

Mrs. T. (r., <2j-2V/6'). My husband back ! {Aloud) Come, 
sir, you must not be discovered here; this way, quick! {lo 

I E. L.) 

Copywright {resists). But I've done nothing to be 
ashamed of. I don't like this. 

Mrs. T. Get in, I beg you. {Pushes him., i e. l. ; aside.) 
After what has happened, I wouldn't let my husband know 
of my connection with Copywright for the world. {Crossing 
r.) Here he comes. {Exit i e. r.) 

Mr. T. {entering D. in F.). Ha, she's gone! I'm not 
sorry, for I'm mad. Our front entry is about equal to a 
coal-mine in point of illumination ; but when the resem- 
blance is increased by leaving buckets of coal around, it is 
irritating — to the ankles. {Rubs legs.) Hang it! realism is 
not art. {Doivn c.) That fellow wasn't for me, after all : 
there was nobody on the corner but a smirking scoundrel 
whom I caught blowing kisses to somebody in the block, so 
I started to keep my appointment. But I'd hardly gone two 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 13 

blocks when it occurred to me that I'd left that paper, so 
back I came; and now where is it? {Looks aboitt.) She 
can't have had time to — {sees it) — no, here it is ! {Goes l. 
and picks it up.) Now I feel safe. {Rolling it tip.) She 
can't have been — No, no! she had no real suspicion. I 
suppose my reserved manner irritated her, for I was distant, 
yes, rather distant this morning; at least, I wished at one 
time I had been distant — about a mile. Poor thing! But 
no suspicion of the real truth — no, no ! — she is too inno- 
cent herself. {Going c.) Why, what the devil is this? 
{lakingploivej's.) I have a very vivid recollection of certain 
flowers of speech in our morning's conversation, but no nat- 
ural ones. No, they were confoundedly unnatural, coming 
from wife to husband ; and yet, here they are. Hallo, a let- 
ter ! {Drops bougnet.) {Opens and 7'eads, going r.) " My 
dear Cynthia." A man's handwriting! Now, I wasn't 
aware she was any one else's Cynthia but mine, and this is 
not my writing. Well, we live and learn. {Reads.) "I shall 
be with you earlier than usual, this morning." Than usual ! 
Then he is in the habit of coming here ! {Reads.) "Even 
at the risk of your husband's discovering our secret." 
Why, damme, it's a lover! {Comes c, reads.) "The sur- 
prise you intended for him will come a little earher than we 
had planned." {Grinding his teeth.) Yes, indeed : you're 
right, my buck, the surprise will come a devilish deal earlier 
than either of you anticipated. {Reads.) " The reason I " — 
Oh, hang your reasons ! {Reads.) " I must have all the 
proofs this morning, sure: so have them ready." He's 
afraid I might get 'em, is he? Oh, I've all the proofs I 
want! {Reads.) "As ever devoted to your interests. — 
Ed." Edl not even Ned. Is it Edwin or Edward? Ed! 
there isn't even an Eddy to show in what direction the cur- 
rent flows. {Going -L.) I see it now. It was fate brought 
me back here, and not the newspaper. I wish fate had told 
me to punch that blackguard's head that blew the kisses. 
He was the man, no doubt. Very good ! Mrs. T., my eyes 
are open ! Business may go to the devil now ! Cadwalla- 
der will come the Marius among the ruins of his domestic 
Carthage. {Sits by fire) 

CoPYWRiGHT {entering stealthily i E. l.). I don't hear 
any thing. It must have been a false alarm. {Sees Mr. T.) 
Hallo! {Aside.) The very man I've seen going to the 
widow's. 



14 A PERSONAL MATTER. • 

Mr. T . (n'sz'ng). Hallo! (Aside.) The very ugly-looking 
scoundrel I met on the street just now. {Goes r.) 

CoPYWRiGHT {aside). Her husband, too ! What a mess 
I've got them into! {Aloud, going r.) This is rather awk- 
ward, sir. 

Mr. T. I should say it was, sir, — devilish awkward for 
you. Who are you, sir ? 

Copy WRIGHT. lam — {During followijtg speeches Mr. 
T. crowds COPYWRIGHT gradually to extre7ne L.) 

Mr. T. And what the devil are you doing prowling about 
my house, sir .'' You are a sneak-thief, sir, and you look it. 

COPYWRIGHT. My name is — 

Mr. T. Damn your name, sir! I dare say you have a 
hundred of them. 

COPYWRIGHT. My name is Copy — 

Mr. T. And a devilish poor copy of an honest man, sir. 
Well, Mr. Copy? 

COPYWRIGHT. Pardon me, sir, — Wright. 

Mr. T. I'm right, am I ? Damme, he admits it. Oh, 
this is too much! Now, Mr. Copy — 

COPYWRIGHT. Wright, if you please. 

Mr. T. {Ion a). Confound it, sir, I know I'm right ! don't 
tell me that again. 

COPYWRIGHT {loud). I will be heard, sir. My name is 
Copy Wright. 

Mr. T. Copywright, eh ? Very well, sir, you are copy- 
right secured, then; for I've got you, and you won't get 
away in a hurry. Now, sir, what will you call your busi- 
ness ? Don't hesitate : give it a name. 

Copywright. My business ? {Aside.) I must preserve 
her secret. Luckily he don't seem to suspect. 

Mr. T. Oh! you hesitate, do you? Come, your business? 
Tell me any thing that comes handy, just to keep up appear- 
ances. 

Copywright {aside). What shall I say? {Aloud.) As 
I was saying when you interrupted me, I'm a — 

Mr. T. a what, then? out with it. 

Copywright. A lawyer, sir. My business — 

Mr. T. a lawyer, — humph ! Wouldn't you like to be 
considered a clergyman, sir? I can believe you quite as 
easily. Or perhaps you'd like to identify yourself with the 
medical profession, sir. You will have all probabilities in 
your favor ; for you "don't look unlike a body-snatcher, sir. 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 1 5 

COPYWRIGHT. A body-snatcher, sir ? Do you know — 

Mr. T. Don't bully me, sir. I don't doubt your famil- 
iarity with courts of law, but I suspect your point of obser- 
vation has been the dock. 

CoPYWRiGHT. The dock, sir ? I am as well known at the 
bar as — 

Mr. T. {well down L.). I have no doubt of it, — every bar 
in the city. Hence your appearance in the dock, sir. Your 
nose tells the story. 

COPYWRIGHT {well down L.). My nose, sir? {Aside.) I 
won't stand his bullying any longer. {Aloud.) My nose, 
sir.? Damme if I see any thing in your own nose so remark- 
ably comely as to render your visits to Mrs. Bonds particu- 
larly acceptable. 

Mr. T. {retreating). 'Sh ! I say, not so loud. (Copy- 
yvKiGWY gradually crowds Mr. T. to extreme l., as above.) 

Copy WRIGHT. Oho, sir! Who is the scoundrel now? 
how about body-snatchers! I am a resurrectionist, am I? 
Very good; I have brought about your day of judgment, at 
any rate. 

Mr. T. Not so loud ; easy, now. 

CoPYWRiGHT. I will be loud. You have taken tricks 
enough ; now you play the knave, and I take you with my 
" last trump." Oh ! I'm a resurrectionist. 

Mr. T. Consider my position. I — 

CoPYWRiGHT. I object to your position. You have com- 
mitted infringement on Copywright long enough : it is his 
turn now. Explain your visits to Mrs. Bonds. 

Mr. T. Don't make such a row. I assure you I went on 
business, — private business. 

Copywright. Business, indeed, sir ! 

Mr. T. a little investment in — 

Copywright. In Bonds? This is no time for jesting. 
You are a heartless scoundrel, sir. What have you done ? 
{Melodramatic.) Old Bonds, in whom I had the highest 
rate of interest, dies, and leaves Mrs. B., his young and 
helpless widow, alone, — a loan, thrown on the world with- 
out the least security against such pursuers of innocence as 
you, sir. The tempter comes, — you, the tempter, — though 
to my mind there is devilish little tempting about you, — 
and throws his nets over her little home. 

Mr. T. That's it, — her house. Don't you see? 



l6 A PERSONAL MATTER. 

COPYWRIGHT. I do see, and so shall you see — your vil- 
lany. {Pathetically) Before your coming, I see her sitting 
in her peaceful front parlor, the Madonna of private life, 
dandling the innocent offspring of Bonds, deceased ; her 
little coupons, so to speak, in whom all her interest lay. 
{Tragic) But soon a little cloud appears on her domestic 
horizon, no bigger than a man's hand. (Mr. T. makes dep- 
recatory gesture) And considerably smaller than the leg 
of mutton by whose impotent gesture you hope to stun the 
torrent of my virtuous indignation. A cloud appears. It 
is you. Small at first, because we see only your virtues, but 
soon enormous as the festering and swollen bulk of your 
vices crowds upon our perceptions. 

Mr. T. Damme, this is unbearable ! 

CoPYWRiGHT. It is, sir, and was. I saw^ the maternal 
instinct fade under the pestilential exhalation of your pres- 
ence. I saw the maternal grasp relax, and the infants roll 
neglected to the floor. Unheeded alike were their piteous 
wails and the promptings of virtue. She fell — 

Mr. T. But she didn't though. She held out as if she'd 
been in the real-estate business all her life. 

CoPYWRiGHT. Real estate, sir ! I blush for you. What 
is a piece of land to peace of mind 1 And what parallel 
can be drawn between a plot of ground and the plots you 
levelled against her? Be content with the ruin you have 
caused, and don't attempt to throw dirt on her reputation. 

Mr. T. It's all nonsense talking about ruin. I paid her 
a fair price, and — 

COPYWRIGHT. Spare me, sir, — spare me the disgusting 
details. 

Mr. T. {extre77ie R.). If you will only let me explain — 

COPYWRIGHT {extreme R.). Needless. I have already 
explained all — to your wife. I happen to stand in the most 
intimate and confidential relations to her — {stops confused). 

Mr. T. {starting, aside). Ed — found! {Aloud) Well, 
sir, you hesitate. To my wife, yes — {Crowds Imn up) 

COPYWRIGHT {to c.). I — I was hasty. I meant — 

Mr. T. (r.). You didn't mean, rather {with savage joy). 
Ha, ha! found at last! A just Heaven has delivered thee 
into my hands. {Produces letter) Look, scoundrel, look at 
this illiterate scrawl. It is yours. Don't deny it. Your 



A PERSONAL MATTER. If 

eyes are more truthful than their owner. Destroyer of my 
peace, explain ! {Advances.) 

CoPYWRiGHT {^ohtg L., aside). The secret cannot be 
kept longer. {Aloud.) Sir, my business will sufficiently ex- 
plain that note. 

Mr. T. (c). Your business, sir, — you are a lawyer. 

COPYWRIGHT {aside, c). O Lord, that unlucky lie ! 

Mr. T. Your being a lawyer will explain almost any vil- 
lany, but not this. 

CoPYWRiGHT. When I said I was a lawyer, I — 

Mr. T. When you said you were a lawyer, I respected 
you as a man of ready invention, but did not believe you. 
Some lawyers have red noses, sir ; some lawyers go prowl- 
ing about other people's houses, sir : but no lawyer writes 
any such notes as this, sir, for he knows the consequences. 
And you shall know 'em devilish soon ; you shall have an 
object-lesson directly {ritsJies L., Copywright tip c), — illus- 
trated with cuts, sir, gratis {up c, Copywright down r.). 

Copywright. Help! hallo, somebody! {To l., Mr. T. 
to r.) 

Mr. T. You spoke lightly of my hand just now; you 
shall have definite information as to its weight. (Copy- 
wright starts up C.) No, you don't. {After hitn, both col- 
liding with Susan, enteri^tg d. in f.) 

Susan. Murder ! murder ! {Screams.) 

Mr. T. Stop that noise, girl, and go away. 

Copywright {down l. hurriedly). Call the police — do ! 
He's mad. 

Mr. T. Craven, — would you? (7i? l., Copywright r.) 

Susan {crying, up c.). Oh, oh ! what shall I do? and the 
lady below ! 

Mr. T. (l.). Lady ! {Stops.) 

Susan. Well, she don't look it, sir. Mrs. — 

Mr. T. {anxiously). Yes, yes, what? 

Susan. Mrs. — something they gives you when they 
owes you something. 

Mr. T. That's a cow-hiding, scoundrel. {To r. ; Copy- 
wright dodges L.) 

Susan. Mrs. Bonds, sir: that's it. 

Mr. T. (r., staggers). Bonds ! O Lord, where is she ? 

Copywright (l., aside). This is fairly providential. 

Susan. She's below stairs, sir. 



l8 A PERSONAL MATTER. 

Mr. T. {7ip c, quick). I must get her away. But you 
won't escape me {shaking fist): I'll lock you in, sir. {Exit^ 
piishijig Susan before him, and locking door.) 

CoPYWRiGHT. Now here's a nice fix. Locked in to 
await the pleasure of a madman who wants to cut your 
throat for nothing, and give you the change ! Change ! It's 
the change I object to; for, without being at all vain, I am 
satisfied with myself as I am, and won't have any alterations 
if I can help it. But how to escape ! {Rjins to window R.) 

Lord ! thirty feet clear, and the choice of a spiked railing 
or a water-butt at the bottom ! It would be the end of me 
in either case. No, I don't believe in jumping at one's con- 
clusion. Ha ! why not follow Mrs. Tapscott .? {Runs to 

1 E. R., and meets Mrs. T., who enters.) Hush, — he has 
discovered all. 

Mrs T. {going c). He ? Who ? 

CoPYWRiGHT. That madman. 

Mrs. T. You mean my husband. Well, we could hardly 
hope to keep it from him much longer. 

COPYWRIGHT. But that is not all. He has improved 
upon our little plot, by introducing a villain of his own in- 
vention. 

Mrs. T. That is, he has entered into it himself. 

COPYWRIGHT. With a vengeance. Literally, with a ven- 
geance. He has found my letter, and takes me for a lover. 

Mrs. T. a lover ! 

COPYWRIGHT. And he has so far identified me with the 
character, that he proposes embellishing the plot with a 
murder. Real blood, ma'am. He wants to cut my throat. 

Mrs. T. {going l.). What a situation ! 

COPYWRIGHT {to c). That's it: I'm not up to the situa- 
tion. I wish I had never been cast in the piece at all. You 
must save me. 

Mrs. T. But you don't mean to — 

COPYWRIGHT. To have my throat cut ? No, ma'am. 
Quick, hide me! he'll be back directly. (Mrs. T. Mp c.) 
No, no, not that way: he has locked the door. {Goes l.) 

Mrs. T. {down c). But this can easily be explained. 

COPYWRIGHT. Suppose you try : I didn't have much suc- 
cess. But here he comes: where shall I go? {Runs adout.) 

Mrs. T. {to l.). In there (i e. l.), and don't come till I 
call. 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 10 

COPYWRIGHT {aside). She needn't caution me. I expect 
he'll murder us both. {Exit E. i L.) 

Mr. T. {etiteritig d. in f.). Now, scoundrel, I'm ready for 
you. {Sees Mrs. T.) Oh, ho, ma'am, where is he ? What 
have you done with him ? {Down c.) 

Mrs. T. (l.). He is safe. Will you hsten to reason? 

Mr. T. If you mean listen to you, which is quite a dif- 
ferent thing, I won't. He's there, I know. Let me get at 
him. 

Mrs. T. Never, sir, until you have heard the truth. 

Mr. T. Have you the face to defend your lover, wo- 
man ? r 1 i- ir 

Mrs. T. Mr. Tapscott, you are makmg a fool of yourself. 

Mr. T. Not a bit. It is your Copywright who has been 
making a fool of me. 

Mrs. T. One fool, Mr. T? He must be a bunglmg 
workman, for there is material enough in you for half a 
dozen. Give me five minutes' attention, and you will agree 
with me. You have found a letter addressed to me. {Little 
c.) 

Mr. T. I should think so. To Mrs. Tapscott, present; 
Mr. Tapscott absent being understood. Oh ! I know you. 

Mrs. T. That letter concerns a little surprise I had 
planned for the anniversary of our wedding. 

Mr. T. Pooh, pooh ! {Goes R.) 

Mrs. T. {to c). I had planned to make my first appear- 
ance as an authoress, with the assistance of Mr. Copywright, 
in the pages of " The Milky Way." This was the surprise, 
this the business that brought him so often to the house. 

Mr. T. Ingenious, very. But your publisher addresses 
you as his dear Cynthia : how will you explain that ? 

Mrs. T. Very easily. "Cynthia" is the 7iom-de-plume 
under which I appear. I dare say Mr. Copywright hasn't 
the least idea that it isn't assumed. 

Mr. T. If your writing is fictional, Mrs. Tapscott, I 11 
guarantee its success. Pile it on. Ed is his — his what d'ye 
call it, I presume. , , , 

Mrs. T. Any ordinarily intelhgent man would have at 
once recognized " Ed." as the abbreviation of editor. For 
Mr. Copywright has that relation to the magazine. 

Mr. T. Go it, go it! But I tremble for your future. 
{Aside.) There's fitness in that though : not being more than 



20 A PERSONAL MATTER. 

half a man, he only signs half a name. {Aloud, tf'iujnpJi) 
But the proofs ! {Toe.) 

Mrs. T. {taking them from desk up r.). Are here. 

Mr. T. {looking it over). A story, — a trashy novel. Mrs. 
Tapscott, I ask you for facts, and you give me fiction. Is 
this right? These are no proofs. 

Mrs. T. But they are. {Downi.:) The corrected proofs 
of my novel. 

Mr. T. {embarrassed). Yes — to be sure — ahem! this is 
plausible. {Aside., pouting manuscript 07i table) I'm afraid 
I may have been rather hasty. 

Mrs. T. Well, sir, are you satisfied ? 

Mr. T. Well, I may — I say I may — have been deceived 
in this. But soft, one thing more : perhaps you can explain 
his blowing kisses to you. 

Mrs. T, Well, there is no great harm in a kiss, I am 
sure ; and when it's blown, whatever warmth and vigor it once 
possessed must be pretty well gone. 

Mr. T. Mrs. Tapscott, when I married you I swore to 
love and to cherish. I gave bonds to — 

Mrs. T. Bonds indeed, sir ! It is for you to explain, now, 
your visits to the young and fast — yes fast — widow at Chil- 
bury. Your Lobelia, sir. {Going r.) How could I have so 
far forgotten myself as to make explanations to such a mon- 
ster! 

Mr. T. {aside). She has read the Personal. 

Mrs. T. {going l.). My only course is a divorce. Thank 
Heaven! I am not friendless ! {Calls i e. l.) Come in, Mr. 
Copywright. 

Copy WRIGHT {entering i e. l. timidly). Is he rational yet } 

Mrs. T. {taking his ar?n). He won't murder any one now. 
His fangs are drawn. 

Mr. T. You have completely misunderstood that cursed 
Personal, my dear. It was merely an answer to my offer to 
the widow for — 

Mrs. T. I know, sir. 

Mr. T. She has lived extravagantly — 

Mrs. T. I know, sir. 

Mr. T. Was hard up, you see. 

Copywright {aside). That is evident enough. 

Mrs. T. I knov/ that very well, sir. 

Mr. T. {going R.). Hang it, Cynthia ! the moon is made of 



A PERSONAL MATTER. 21 

green cheese, do you know that? If you know every thing, 
how the deuce am I to explain ? 

Mrs. T. You can't, sir : explanation will be thrown away. 

COPYWRIGHT. Yes, sir, thrown away. I have told her 
all. 

Mr. T. And a great deal more. Have you told her that 
Lobelia Cottage has been — 

Mrs. T. {dropping Copy Wright's arm). Lobelia Cottage ! 

CoPYWRiGHT. Yes, that is the rather fanciful name" of 
Mrs. Bonds' residence. 

Mrs. T. {going c). Well, go on. 

Mr. T. Has been advertised for sale for some time, in 
consequence of Mrs. Bonds' marriage and immediate de- 
parture for Europe ? 

CoPYWRiGHT. I didn't knov/ — I — 

Mr. T. You are a meddlesome old ass, sir ! Here is the 
whole story : Mrs. Bonds, who is to be married in a week, 
decided to sell her present residence in Chilbury. Knowing 
your desire for a seaside residence, I made offers. They 
were accepted, and the business was to have been settled 
to-day — 

Mrs. T. Well? 

Mr. T. But this well-meaning old fossil has ruined all. 
Five minutes ago I told her it was all off. 

Mrs. T. And she's gone ! 

Mr. T. Yes, unfortunately, back to Chilbury. 

COPYWRIGHT {going up c'.). Til do what I can to atone 
for my mistake. I'll bring her back. 

Mrs. T. {a little l.). If you are unsuccessful, I'll never 
forgive you ! {Exit Copywright d. in f.) 
{Paused) 

Mrs. T. I'm so ashamed of myself, Caddy ! It was all 
that Personal. 

Mr. T. {to R. c). I was a fool to have tried such a silly 
means of getting an answer, but I feared a letter might fall 
into your hands. 

Mrs. T. Why, Caddy, weren't you going to tell me ? 

Mr. T. On the anniversary of our wedding, dear. Can 
you forgive me, Cynthia ? 

Mrs't. {to him). With all my heart. 

Mr. T. {kissing Jie7'). But no more blowing kisses. 

Mrs, T. {looking at house., and drawing away from it). 



22 A PERSONAL MATTER. ] 

Don't, Caddy, before so many people. It is horribly bad ; 

taste. People don't like these family scenes. (To house, '\ 

timidly.) You don't, do you ? No. Then will you excuse i 

us if we draw the curtain on our reconciliation .? Please do. ! 

I hope I have some friends here — yes — then you really ' 

must. I make it •: 

\ 

A Personal Matter. i 



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Bayley. 
J. G- Saxe 
J. Westioood. 
Charles G. LelandU 
Waiter Scott- 
Charles F. Adams. 



Sir Henry Wotton^ 
Bobert Collyer. 
Anonymous. 
Morton. 



Too wiU find one of your Favorites among 50 of the Choicest 
Selections in the 



M 



Reading Olub and Handy Speaker 

Edited by George M. Bakeb. 
Price, cloth, 60 cents; paper, 15 cents. 
CONTENTS. 



The Rescue .... 
The Pickwickians on Ice . • 

A Picture 

Tube's Monuiuent . . . 

The Two Anchors . 

ri-e Old Ways and the New . 

By the Alma River . 

Trial Scene from "Merchant of Venice 

The Sisters .... 

Farm- Yard Song 

The Fortune-Hunter 

Curing a Cold .... 

Ill the Bottom Drawer 

Two Irish Idyls 

Over the Ri^^er .... 

The Modest Cousin . . . 

Biddy's Troubles 

The Man with a Cold in his Head 

Harry and I , . . . 

The Shadow on the Wall 

The Little Puzzler , 

A Traveller's Evening Song . 

Calling a Boy in the Morning . 

Cooking and Courting 

A Tragical Tale of the Tropics 

The Paddock Elms . 

The Bobolink .... 

Toothache 

The Opening of the Piano 

Press On 

The Beauty of Youth 

Queen Mab .... 

A Militia General 

Address of Spottycus 

Our Visitor, and what he came for 

»* What's the Matter with that Nose? " 

Workers and Thinkers 

The Last Ride . 

Baby Atlas 

Possession , 

There is no Death 

rhe Learned Negro 

(l^^earer, ray God, to Thee 

A Short Sermon 

'broin' Home To-day 

The Broken Pitcher 

k Baby's Soliloquy 

The Double Sacrifice 

Sunday Morning 

Che Quaker Meeting 



John Brownjohn. 

Dickens. 

Mrs. H. A. Bingham, 

Elizabeth Kilham. 

R. H. Stoddard. 

John H. Yates. 

Miss Miiloch. 

Shakspeare. 

John G. Whittier. 

John G. Saxe. 
Mark Twain- 

Alfred Perceval Grates 

Priest. 

Sheridan Knowles. 



Sara\ M. B. PiaU, 
Mrs. Hemans. 



Tom to Ned. 



B. E. Wool/ 
Aldine. 



Atlantic Monthly, 
Park Benjamin. 
Theodore Parker. 
Romeo and Juliet, 
Thomas Corwin, 



Our Fat Contributor, 

Ruskin. 

M>ra Perry. 

Oicen Meredith. 

Sir E. Bulicer Lytton. 

Congre gationalist. 

Sarah F. Adams. 

Not by a Hard- Shell Bapiigk 

W. 3f. C'arleton. 

Anonymous. 

Arthur William Austin. 
George A. Baker, jun. 
Samuel Lover. 



ffoid by all booksellers and newsdealers, or sent by mail on receipt oj He* 

JmEE & SHEPARD, Publishers, Boston 



BETTER THAN GOLD. 



A Drama in Four AcU, 



BY GEORGE M. BAKER. 

PRICE, 20 CENTS. 

Deservedly popular as are the plays written by Mr. 0«org« 
M. Baker, we have never seen or read any of his works which 
can equal " Better than Gold," which has just been published. 
The play is one which will become one of the greatest favorites 
among amateurs, and is sufiBlciently strong to merit a season 
upon the professional stage. The plot is cleverly conceived, 
and the parts are all good ones, which in proper hands must 
make the performance one pleasing to any audience. The 
parts are: a rather foolish old lawyer who weds a young wife, 
and is ruled by her ; a noble-minded man who, as the yeare 
change, sees his fortune, his manhood, and his good name 
swept from him, till at last, maddened by drink, he kills big 
wife, the whole turning out to be but a dream c ansed by hli 
first drunken carouse ; a good-natured, blundering young man : 
a dissipated and disinherited son, who by means of wine ana 
gambling gains what he deems his birthright (a strong chaiv 
acter, if well taken); and a colored servant. The ladles' part* 
are: an elderly lady, the housekeeper; two parts of nearly 
equal importance, for the leading lady and first walking lady; 
and a lighter, but still important part. We give thla lijst m 
order that companies in search of something new and power- 
ful may judge of the requirements of the piece. This play if 
so written that the first and last acts form a very pretty little 
play of themselves ; and a company which would be unable to 
properly perform the entire play could make a aacces* In 
these two acts. The second and third acta are supposed to b« 
a dream, and the play is very good with the third act omitted. 
However, the third act contains a good deal of heavy acting, 
and the opportunity will hardly be thrown away by the betttf 
companies, who have strong actors among their Memb«ni-» 
The Amateur Theatrical JoumaL 



GEORGE M. BAKER & CO., Publi»ii«fn, 

Bosa?02sr 



BY CEORCE 

Author of "Amateur Drainas'' " The Mimic i: 

Room Stage," " Handy Dramas" " Tlie Exh 

Titles in this Type are 

Titles in this Type are 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




016 211 635 



In Four Acts. 



Better Than Gold. 
char 



7 male, 4 female 



In Three Acts. 

Our Folks. 6 male, 5 female char. . , 
Tile Flower of the Family. 5 

male, 3 female char 

Enlisted for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- 
male characters 

My Brother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char 

The Little Urown Jug, 5 male, 3 
female char 



In Two Acts. 
Above the Clouds. 7 male, 3 female 

characters 

One Hundred Years Ago. 7 male, 

4 female cliar 

Among the Breakers, 6 male, 4 female 

char 

Bread on the Waters, s male, 3 female 

char 

Down by thk Sea. 6 male, 3 female 

char 

Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. 
The Last Loaf, 5 male, 3 female char. 

In One Act. 
Stand by the Flag. 5 male char . i . 
The Teniiner. 3 male, i female char. 

COMEDIES AND FARCES. 

A Mysterious Disappearance. 4 

male, 3 female char 

Paddle Your Own Canoe. 7 male, 

3 female char 

A Drop too Much. 4 male, 2 female 

characters 

4 Little More Cider, 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char 

A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 
female ch.ir 

Never Say Die. 3 male, 3 female char. 

Seeing the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female 
char 

The Boston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. 

The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- 
male char 

Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 

4 male, 3 female char 

We're oil Teetotalers, 4 male, a fe- 
male char 

Male Characters Only. 

A Close Shave. 6 char. 

A Public Benefactor. 6 char 

A Sea of Troubles. 8 char 



IS 



COMEDIES, &c., continued. 

Male Characters Only. 

A Tender Attachment. 7 char. ... 15 

Coals of Fire. 6 char, o 15 

Freedom of the Press. 8 char. ... 15 

Shall Our Mothers Vote ? u char. 15 

Gentlemen of the Jury 12 char- - . 15 

Humors of the Strike. 8 char. . . 15 

My Uncle the Captain. 6 char. . . 15 

New Brooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 15 

The Great Elixir. 9 char 15 

The Hypochondriac. 5 char 15 

The Man with the Demijohn, 4 

char. . . 15 

The Runaways. 4 char 15 

Thk Thief of Time. 6 char. . . . 15 

Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. . . > 15 

Female Characters Only. 

A Love of a Bonnet. 5 char. . . 15 

A Precious Pickle. 6 char 15 

No Ci.RE NO Pay. 7 char 15 

The Champion of Her Sex. 8 char. . 15 

The Greatest Plague IN Life. Scha. 15 

The Grecian Bend. 7 char. .... 15 

The Red Chignon. 6 char. .... 15 

Using the Weed. 7 char. ..... 15 

ALLEGOniES. 

Arranged for Music and Tableaux. 

Lightheakt's Pilgrimage. 8 female 
char 15 

The Revolt of the Bees. 9 female 
char 15 

The Sculptor's Triumph, i male, 4 fe- 
male char 15 

The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 
female char 15 

The ^Var of the Roses. 8 female char. 15 

MUSICAL A17D LHAMATIC. 

An Original Idea, i male, x female 

char, xs 

Bonbons ; or, the Paint King. 6 male, 

1 female char 25 

Capuletta ; or, Romeo and Juliet 

Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 15 
Santa Claus* "Frolics. ...... 15 

Snow-bound; or, Alonzo the Brave 

and the Fair Imogene, 3 male, x 

female char . as 

The Merry Christmas of the Old 

Woman who lived in a Shoe. . . 15 
The Pedler of Very Nice. 7 male 

char ;•.,;••.• *S 

The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertam- 

ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 
Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 15 
The Visions of Freedom. 11 female 

char. 15 



Geo. M. Baker & Co., 41-45 Franklin St., Boston. 



Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Male characters only. 25ceDts. 
Baker's Humorous Dialogues. Female charactem only. 25 cenU. 



